The Christmas er Yule you get you deserve
by samhaincat
Summary: Lucifer experiences some yuletide angst while on a case with Chloe investigating a mall Santa's murder. Warning: contains mistletoe Not part of my Enigma universe but is up to date on the series so far
1. Chapter 1

**The Christmas er Yule you get you deserve**

" _All anguish and pain and sadness leave your heart and let your road be clear."_

 _I Believe in Father Christmas_ by Emerson, Lake and Palmer

"How can you hate Christmas?" Chloe asked staring at Lucifer with a puzzled expression.

He squirmed slightly but responded with disgust. "Inane holiday celebrating the birth of one of my dad's spawn."

"…and you're jealous because he got more attention than you?"

His eyes lit up. "Exactly! I mean he wasn't even an angel just a mere human."

She raised her brows and gave him a pointed look.

He backtracked. "Not that there is anything wrong with you humans, fascinating creatures for the most part."

She patiently gritted her teeth. "mmhmmm."

He sighed. "Christmas literally kills my buzz – all this worshipping."

She grinned. "Not everyone celebrates Christmas and even those who do are not necessarily religious. Before religion kicked in people used to celebrate Yule at this time of year. So to enjoy some of the festivities why don't you just pretend its Yule you're celebrating?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Pagan Festival – celebrating the return to the light. I like that. Love those pagans- they drank a lot."

Chloe chuckled. Things she used to find irritating about Lucifer she now found endearing. Her partner while at times could be a pain in the ass among other things was never boring.

Dan rushed over to her. "Chloe you have a case. Santa was found dead in the middle of Christmas village. Cause of death hasn't been determined yet but it looks suspicious. Ella is on her way.

"Yule Village!" Lucifer chimed in.

"Pardon?" Dan asked.

"Are you hard of hearing? Yule Village not Christmas Village." Lucifer stated vehemently.

Dan frowned at Chloe who shrugged. "Don't ask."

They arrived at the mall and murder scene.

"Bloody Hell Ho Ho Ho indeed." Lucifer remarked as they arrived at the scene and viewed the body. "Looks like someone indulged in his Ho Ho Ho's a bit too much." Lucifer observed kneeling down by the body.

"Except that isn't what killed him." Ella piped up as she crouched by the body.

Santa sprawled on a sofa with his pants down, lipstick covered certain body parts, and a bottle of tequila lay near the body.

"NO wonder Santa was so jolly with all that extracurricular activities. Perhaps one of his elves gave him a blow job." Lucifer snickered. "Or perhaps a reindeer…Vixen per say?"

Chloe sighed. "Lucifer, dead body, probable murder scene. Show some respect."

"Seriously detective, look at the man, he went out in the best way indulging in his carnal desires."

"Do you see the blue tinge on his lips? It looks like he choked on something." Ella pointed out.

She opened the man's mouth and peered inside. She frowned, picked up some small tongs and pulled what at first appeared to be a piece of cloth out of his mouth.

"interesting." She commented.

Chloe peered closer – it was a garter – brides usually wore them at their wedding.

"Perhaps an angry jilted bride?" Chloe mused.

"Perhaps his performance was just bad and his partner determined he wasn't fit to live." Lucifer speculated.

"Then why a garter?" Chloe asked.

He snorted. "Why anything. Why would any man chose to dress up as an elf and allow hordes of little sticky humans climb all over him, spit up on him, scream in his ear and be altogether annoying?"

"Trixie loves Santa." Chloe informed him.

He wrinkled his nose. "There's no accounting for good taste." He responded disdainfully.

"She loves you too…for some reason." Chloe pointed out.

"Well of course she does…it's me after all." He smirked.

Chloe rolled her eyes.

"How did he even wind up in here after hours? And who was with him? Are there any security cameras?" she asked Dan.

They're checking right now but it doesn't appear that there were any here nor in the bed and mattress section. Hard to shoplift the bigger items." He responded.

Lucifer picked up the empty tequila bottle sniffing it.

Chloe hissed at him. "Put it down! Its evidence and now your fingerprints are on it!"

He sighed annoyed. For the last six weeks he's been even weirder than usual. Something had happened but he refused to talk about it with her anyway.

"He's wearing a wedding ring – has his wife been notified? Chloe asked the officers.

"Yes she's downstairs she came right away.

"Let's go talk to her." Chloe said in Lucifer's direction. "Are you coming?"

He jumped slightly startled, then settled his dark eyes on her briefly.

Ha had that some look that crossed his features every so often since Halloween. Haunted. She had tried numerous times to get him to talk to her to open up but he refused each time. She glanced over at whatever had held his attention. It was a portrait of two brothers grinning at each other. The words underneath stated "Brothers' always". She supposed it was to help sell the frame but she couldn't stop wondering if Lucifer and his brother Amenadiel had had a falling out. She shrugged it off…and followed Dan to the wife.

She was an attractive woman late 40's early 50's, a red head wearing a red dress. Her eyes were red from weeping.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you have any idea who may have done this to your husband?"

"Everyone loved him. He's played Santa for years. The officer told me they suggested it was murder. How exactly did he die?

"It's early in the investigation yet but it appers he was asphyxiated." Chloe told her gently.

"Someone shoved a blue garter down his throat after…"

Chloe jumped to her feet and grabbed Lucifer hauling him out of hearing distance. "Go home!"

"But the woman has a right to…"

The woman is his wife. She just lost her husband whom we can presume she loved. Now is not the time to reveal the sordid details of his death. She's grieving – have some empathy for once!"

He swallowed heavily, his dark eyes reflecting hurt. "Maybe you should follow your own advice, detective." He turned and left.

* * *

"She said I should have empathy! All I wanted to do was reveal all the facts to the wife – she would want the truth I would think. Knowing her husband was likely a miscreant would ease her grief wouldn't it?" Lucifer complained to Linda as he sat on her sofa wringing his hands.

"Lucifer, Chloe was doing her job and being a professional. I would think in a murder case one wouldn't reveal all the facts especially not to any potential suspects."

Lucifer shot her a dark penetrating look. "So you are siding with the Detective. Lovely. I should have known it would be a waste of time coming here."

Linda sighed heavily. "I am your therapist not your puppet that nods and agrees with everything you say. You need to look inside yourself and listen to what your conscience is saying. Do you honestly think it was a good idea to tell the woman who just lost her husband all the gory details of his murder?"

Lucifer squirmed uncomfortably but didn't answer.

"Lucifer?" Linda probed.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine."

* * *

"Dan," Chloe called him over.

"What was that scene with Lucifer all about? He looked upset when he stormed out of here."

"I'm not sure but you two seem to have, I don't know, bonded over the last while. Could you go after him and make sure he's okay?"

Dan looked disgruntled. "Chloe, were on a case. Do you really want me to go console your upset …whatever he is?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" she replied defensively.

"He's much more to you than just a partner," Dan observed.

Her mouth fell open. "Ewww no! Seriously Dan. Just no. He's just…lost sometimes. I want to make sure he's okay."

Dan grinned and smirked. "Sure, if you say so." He left and headed to Lux. He found Lucifer by the piano looking dazed.

"Hey man, are you okay?"

Lucifer gave him a disdainful look. "I'm fine detective douche no need to concern yourself."

"Cut the crap Lucifer. We both know something isn't right – hasn't been for a while now. You can talk to me you know."

"Pass." Lucifer spit out.

Dan sighed. "Have it your way. IF you change your mind you know where to find me."

"Miming. " Lucifer chirped.

"Improv!" Dan snapped.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and leaned against the piano.

Dan paused and took a deep breath. The club owner was weird most of the time but Chloe was right he was even weirder now than usual.

"So I could use a drink, you want to join me?"

Lucifer threw him a suspicious look but then grinned. "It's a date, Daniel."

"Can you just once not be an ass?"

Lucifer blew him a kiss. "For you Daniel anything."

Dan shook his head, the man was beyond mercurial.

Dan had a beer while Lucifer downed whisky after whisky.

"So what's your aversion to Christmas?" Dan asked since Lucifer seemed agitated and not inclined for conversation.

The man pouted. "My sort of half-brother was born on Christmas Eve and got loads of attention."

"And you were or are jealous?" Dan probed.

"I don't do jealous." His dark eyes narrowed. "It was unwarranted attention, it's not like he could create universes or anything. Rather unremarkable he was – especially since he was human. Besides he's dead."

Dan raised his eyebrow. "I see and I'm sorry for your loss." The man really was a bit of lunatic.

Lucifer regarded him with frustration. "No you don't see at all. That was a long time ago. I don't really care. My other brother is the one who died recently."

"Amenadiel?" Dan asked remembering the man that had come to check out the sex club and had gotten rather inebriated. He supposed the heavy drinking ran in the family albeit Lucifer could certainly hold his own while his brother couldn't.

"No, not Amenadiel. I have er rather had another one."

"Is that why you been so out of it lately?"

Lucifer frowned. "I haven't been out of it – maybe I wanted to be but this celestial body heals far too fast to be drugged or drunk into oblivion."

Dan felt pity for Lucifer. Whatever had happened to the club owner to make him take on the devil persona as a coping strategy must have been overwhelmingly traumatic.

"I'm sorry your brother died. Were you with him when he passed?"

A myriad of emotions crossed Lucifer's face. He swallowed heavily. "Yes unfortunately."

"I'm sure he took comfort in your presence. "Dan assured him.

Lucifer scoffed. "I hardly doubt that" A moment of such agony flashed in his dark eyes that Dan briefly put his hand on Lucifer's shoulder.

"You know we're all here for you if you need to talk."

"Lovely and you'll hug me and pat me on the back and make it all better right, Dan?" He responded sarcastically.

Dan scowled at him. "Just trying to help man because that's what friends do!"

Lucifer had the grace to look chastised for a moment. Slowly he offered Dan a small smile, Dan reciprocated and lifted his glass to toast.."

Lucifer clanked his glass against Dan's.

* * *

A/N: This is a two chapter story. Next chapter angst and mistletoe. Stay warm and safe all!


	2. Chapter 2

**The Christmas er Yule you get you deserve – conclusion**

" _All anguish and pain and sadness leave your heart and let your road be clear."_

 _I Believe in Father Christmas_ by Emerson, Lake and Palmer

* * *

Chloe watched Lucifer beneath lowered lashes. Dan has informed her that apparently he had lost a brother recently but he didn't know his name but she did know it wasn't Amenadiel. She was surprised he had such a large family. For some reason she had surmised he had been on his own but then again considering his father, or god as he liked to refer to him, had kicked him out of the house likely quite young.

He knocked on the door of the house of the man they were questioning in regards to the Santa murder. A man with graying hair and a receding hairline opened. He looked hostile.

"Mr. Cacire?"

"Yes."

Chloe showed him her badge. "Sorry for your loss. We are investigating the murder and would like to ask you a few questions about your brother."

The man looked irritated but held the door open wider. As they entered a woman presumably his wife greeted them and offered tea.

They sat in the living room, Chloe admired the tree.

"Do you know anyone who might have felt compelled to kill your brother?" she asked.

The man snorted. "He had more enemies than one could count."

Chloe frowned. "His wife said everyone loved him and she couldn't think of anyone that had a grudge against him?"

"His wife is the biggest idiot. All she cares about is her appearance – she is one of the vainest women I have ever met."

Lucifer suddenly snarled. "You killed your brother – didn't you? How could you?"

The man looked startled. "What? Why would I do that?"

Chloe looked shocked and quietly said, "Lucifer."

He held up his hand as if trying to shush her.

Lucifer's eyes narrowed. "He did something unforgivable? Threatened someone close to you – yes that's it. You felt justified ending him."

The man shook his head his eyes darting wildly around the room as if looking for an escape.

"You can tell me Mr. Cacire. What do you desire, what nasty dark secret do you harbour?"

The man's blue eyes glazed over. "He was trying to take my wife, he tried to rape her I was justified! He wasn't a good man."

Lucifer leapt to his feet. "You shouldn't have killed him. He was your brother." Lucifer's voice grew thick with emotion. Chloe stepped closer and put her hand on his arm.

"It's okay he'll be punished, he's going to jail."

"It's not good enough."

His black eyes looked tortured as swallowed hard and looked away. He had that same look when they were investigating the murder at the Zombie wedding.

"No no please…" his wife cried. "Everything he has said is true, his brother was a monster, always trying to seduce women and when it didn't work he tried force."

Chloe had pulled her gun and handcuffed the man, while calling for backup. "I'm sorry Mrs. Cacire but his actions should have been reported to the police."

"Then what? The courts blame the victim and he gets away with it," she tearfully responded.

Chloe shot her a sympathetic look. Sadly the woman was right – that scenario happened more often than not.

Dan was the first on the scene. "I can take it from here."

"Come here." Chloe grabbed Lucifer's hand with her own. "What's going own with you?" she asked once she had him in a more private place.

He shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." She coaxed. "Whatever is going on with you goes back to that case with the zombie wedding. You seemed to get better but…were you just distracting yourself since then and somehow this case has you upset again. Whatever happened back then you need to deal with it. You can…"

"I killed my brother!" he blurted out. His eyes were dark and wild.

Chloe was stunned for a moment. She hadn't expected him to confess to murder. He didn't lie but he also thought he was the devil and God his father.

"I find that hard to believe."

"Of course you don't believe me." he responded despondently.

"When did this happen?" she asked trying to understand her partner.

"The day before Halloween," he stated not meeting her eyes.

The day before the zombie wedding. The made sense. She frowned. "What happened?" She knew Lucifer didn't kill people and the only time she seen him angry enough to kill was when they caught murderers.

"He went crazy. He was going to kill two people I stopped him. I didn't plan it; I just wanted to stop him. I didn't mean to kill him – it all happened so fast." He took some shaky breaths.

"Okay." She put her hand on his arm again. "What happened to the body?"

"I buried him," he regarded her warily.

"Does anyone else in your family know?"

He nodded. "Mum and Amenadiel."

"Why weren't the police called?"

Lucifer's tormented gaze landed on her again.

"You were afraid you'd be arrested?" she asked still not believing he had actually killed anyone.

"There were a number of issues."

Chloe sighed heavily. "How did Amenadiel and your mom react?"

"They were upset of course."

"Do they blame you?"

"No."

"But you blame yourself?" she mused.

Lucifer sighed and swallowed heavily. "He was my brother."

She speculated that something had happened between this brother and himself and perhaps the brother had died and he somehow blamed himself. "This case has brought it all back – fresh." She observed.

He gave a harsh laugh. "One brother killing another how could it not."

"One should never kill but considering what that man was going to do I can see how it happened."

He looked at her his eyes wary and vulnerable. "You think he was justified?"

"I don't think this was premeditated, I think given the circumstances – yes."

"My brother would never have killed me," he whispered.

"But he would have killed two people I'm guessing you care about?" she probed.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

She took his hand. "Come on, let's go for al little walk you need to get away from this scene for a while.

For some reason her hand in his brought him some unexpected comfort. He clasped it tightly as they went outside into the fresh air. A crescent moon shone brightly and the sky was awash with stars.

Storefronts sported twinkling lights and the light standards were decorated with garlands and more lights. Somewhere in the distance a busker was playing a guitar and softly singing _Silent_ _Night_.

Lucifer's throat closed and his eyes grew wet as the strains of 'sleep in heavily peace' echoed through the air. He took a gasping breath as Chloe stopped and suddenly wrapper her arms around his chest. He hesitated for a moment, startled but then reciprocated resting his cheek against her forehead. He regained his composure as she pulled back and looked at him with teary eyes.

"That song always gets to me too. It makes me think of my dad. I don't want him resting in heavenly peace - I want him, his energy, and his spirit, to burst with a new life full of adventures. He was a good man I want him to be happy and to be loved," she said thickly.

She realized Lucifer looked even more upset as he closed his eyes, his hand gripping hers hard.

"Lucifer?"

He inhaled deeply and released her hand. "Detective, my brother is gone. Completely gone. There is no energy or spirit left. The blade I used ended him all of him permanently – no heaven no hell just nothing. Gone completely."

"I don't believe that."

"I'm not lying!" he responded agitated.

"I know you're not – you believe this. It's just I don't believe there is nothing left after death."

His gaze dropped to the ground.

"Look, you are always saying your dad is er God. Doesn't he have amazing powers and can make things happen? Maybe he was able to do something okay?"

Lucifer scoffed but his eyes lifted to hers. A small smile lit his face. "Thank you Detective. I know you don't believe me when I talk about my family and you probably don't believe that I killed my brother but you still try to make me feel better."

Chloe smiled as she squeezed his arm. "Let's go inside where it's warm."

As they entered, they found Dan on the ground by the door pulling himself up.

"Dan, are you okay? What happened?" Chloe asked as Lucifer helped him to his feet.

"A woman bashed me over the head. She must have taking the keys to the handcuffs. Sorry Chloe." He looked apologetic.

Chloe shook her head. "It's my fault I should have stayed. Lucifer! Where are you going?"

He threw her a dark look. "To find the miscreant of course."

"Not alone you aren't! Back up is coming just wait. Lucifer!"

She groaned. "Are you going to be okay Dan?"

"I'm fine; you better go after him before he gets himself injured…"

The words were barely out of his mouth when a shot ran out. Chloe swore, pulled her weapon and ran in the direction Lucifer went. A gun went hurling past her head as Lucifer held the struggling man aloft. His wife made to go after the gun but Chloe snarled for her to lie on the ground with her hands over her head.

"Lucifer put him down."

She blinked she could have sworn that his eyes flashed red but he obeyed and set him down. Dan had followed and handcuffed the man. He glanced at Lucifer and gasped. "You're injured. Chloe call an ambulance Lucifer's been shot."

Chloe was handcuffing the wife just as backup arrived. She leapt to her feet and went over to Lucifer. There was blood on his shirt and he was tentatively touching his shoulder. "Bloody mortality."

Chloe ignored him and led him over to a chair as she examined the wound. He was by then panting in pain blood still leaking from the wound.

"Take me to Maze please," he ordered.

She shook her head. "You need an ambulance."

"NO, I won't go. Please Detective take me to your place. Maze can fix this."

Chloe scowled at him. "Since when is Maze a doctor."

"Just trust me. She's got this." He beseeched her as a wave of dizziness swept over him as Chloe put pressure on the wound.

"Okay, let's go then."

Dan looked alarmed. "Chloe are you sure about this. He needs a doctor and while Maze appears to be rather talented in various things healing I can't believe is one of them."

Chloe shrugged. "Worst case scenario I'll take him to the hospital myself. It is just a shoulder wound and he seems to be able to move his fingers and such. I don't think it's serious."

Lucifer groaned. "Hurts like hell."

"See! You should have listened to me and not gone running after him by yourself," she chastised.

"Fine, I've been punished for my actions. Are you happy now?" he sulked.

She blew air out of her mouth in frustration. "Come on get in my car."

He got to his feet holding the cloth Chloe had put against his wound in place.

Maze gasped as soon as she saw him. Trixie let out a worried "Lucifer, are you okay?" Then "Mommy did you shoot him again?"

"No baby, a bad man did but Lucifer is going to be fine. Don't worry okay."

Maze looked at Trixie. "I will fix him up and he'll be good as new."

Trixie grinned. "You fix everything."

Chloe took Trixie to her room and distracted her from the groans and occasional swears coming from the living room. When she went back to check on them Maze held a bloody bullet in her hand, while Lucifer looked pale and disgruntled.

"Are you okay?" Chloe asked.

"I feel like hellfire is wreaking havoc with my shoulder!" he complained.

"You shouldn't get yourself into situations like this when Chloe is around. You know your immortality is comprised when she is! You deserve this for being so stupid." Maze snarled at him.

"What?" Chloe asked.

"Nothing. Maze is just rambling nonsense because she doesn't like patching me up." Lucifer explained.

"I'm going out. Just shut up and get some rest!" Maze threw him a disgusted look.

After Maze left, Chloe put a blanket over him. "Close your eyes for a while and get some sleep. You'll feel better when you wake up. Do you want a painkiller?"

He grinned. "Tequila shots would be good."

She sighed and shook her head. Her cell rang and it was Dan checking up on Lucifer. She assured him he would be fine and got caught up on the case. The man and his wife were in custody now.

Chloe and Trixie quietly put up some more decorations and put the final touches on the tree. Trixie found some mistletoe in one of the boxes and insisted she put it up. Chloe knew Dan and she would never kiss under it again but she hung up because it pleased Trixie. She promptly gave her little daughter a kiss on the cheek. Trixie giggled. "Silly mom. You should be kissing Lucifer."

Chloe choked. "Lucifer and I just work together monkey. There won't be any kissing."

Trixie scrunched up her face and gave her a mischievous smile.

A few hours later Lucifer woke up feeling fine. He said he was still a little sore but insisted on walking around stretching his legs. He was shirtless and she had to admit he was a bit distracting. She busied herself making tea when she looked up to see Lucifer standing under the mistletoe – he was looking down at his cell and she realized he didn't even know he was standing under it.

She knew if he noticed he would milk it for all it was worth. He looked up from his cell and saw her staring at him. She took a step towards him. His eyes widened, he looked…uncertain, puzzled. She smiled and gave a quick jerk of her head upwards, her eyes landing on the mistletoe.

He looked up his mouth fell open then his eyes landed on her as his lips widen into a sexy smile. He opened his mouth to no doubt make some inappropriate remark when she silenced him abruptly by standing on her toes and pulling his head down to hers. Her lips ghosted over his, he heart racing as she slid her arms around his neck. An animal like growl escaped him as his lips responded with such passion her knees would have given out had she not been wrapped round his neck.

When they finally came up for air. Lucifer gasped. "Detective, I didn't know you had it in you…but I always suspected. Well done."

She grinned and shrugged. "You didn't do too badly yourself." She let go of him when responded with disbelief. "Really? Too badly? I think I need to change your opinion. With a devilish smirk he grabbed her and kissed her again dipping her making her both dizzy and breathless. "Kay that was …that was good." She managed to gasp out.

He whispered in her ear causing a shiver of pleasure to course down her spine. "Happy to be of service."

"Happy Yule Lucifer." She squeezed his arm.

"Happy Christmas, Detective." He said softly resting his forehead against hers.

* * *

A/N: Happy Christmas Yule, Solstice, Winter or whatever you celebrate that makes your heart happy at this time of year. XOXO


End file.
